2015 began somewhat quietly. I was laying in the bathtub playing Pokemon Sapphire on my pink DS (let’s exchange friend codes!) when the clock struck midnight. Though I was, at the moment, frustrated with the fact that my friends were out of town and my boyfriend was trapped at work thus leaving me to waste away in the company of Ryan Seacrest, I now see that gently padding my way into this year might be exactly what I needed.
2014 was a whirlwind for me. I started Hare & Anser, moved in with my boyfriend, changed universities and subsequently hated it, went blonde and back again, was foolish with my money, and dove into bitter rants on Tumblr all too frequently. It’s hard to think of a point during the year when I didn’t feel completely frantic and overwhelmed.
But at the same time, I also fell in love, got a dog, embraced myself harder, grew closer to my family, and learned a lot about what’s next for me as a woman, as an adult, and as a creative person. These intangible truths might not be the pile of money and juice-cleansed existence I’m sure I had been planning on a year ago, but they will do–and quite well at that.
So then, what’s in store for 2015? Well, of course there are more concrete answers to this question: I would love to publish a knitting book in whatever form that may take–be it instructions, patterns, or essays. I hope to find my way to a new foreign country for some amount of time. And I definitely plan on making music–that one is already in the works, though. Every day when my boyfriend comes home from work I greet him with “So are you ready to lay down dat hot track?” I’ll get back to you guys when the mixtape drops.
After all of that is said and done, there are ways I hope to grow as a human being. Naturally, I’m ready for a direction that involves fewer anti-anxiety prescription refills. It’s taken me 21 years of Earthly existence to realize that I’m ready, and worthy, to act my own age. It was thrilling for me to come to the basic conclusion that I am a young, talented, semi-lucid individual with a vast and generous support system. Essentially, I am capable of nearly anything. I only say nearly because it’s likely I am too far gone to recover that NASA dream. It’s startling to see that I pollute my own life with so much pressure and negativity when everything around me is practically screaming: “Hey! Have fun!”
So…I will! I am going to have fun in every sense of the word. Except the general party-girl, chandelier-swinging type of fun because I just don’t think I will ever be physically and mentally capable of enjoying a $18 Gin and Tonic capped with a $39 Uber ride–but I digress. My work is fun. My relationship is fun. My friends and family are fun. My hobbies are fun. Neopets is fun. All of these things are inherently fun, so it’s high-frickin’-time I set out to HAVE FUN!
I know, I know–what a tough and grueling goal for all of the Type A’s of the world! But I am going to put a brave face and power through it. Perhaps my fellow high strung as hell ladies of the world will join me in celebrating smiling and dancing and maxing and relaxing.
Happy 2015! Here’s to having fun!
What’s your grand scheme for 2015? (I didn’t intend for that to rhyme but I like it, so I’m leaving it.)