• Norma Rae (1979)

    I am sorry to say I am growing old and sentimental. The other day, I alerted my therapist that I was running late by sending an otherwise blank email with my message in the subject line. I thanked my kindly Instacart Shopper by, wholeheartedly, telling them to have a “blessed day.” Last night, I watched the 1979 film Norma Rae, and one of my primary takeaways was the idea that “they don’t make movies like that anymore.”

    Norma Rae stars Sally Field as the titular 31-year-old single mother of two. She spends her days grinding in the heat of the O.P. Textile Mill — as generations of her family have done before her.

    One afternoon, a man named Reuben Warshowsky appears at the mill. He’s a union organizer from the TWUA, and has been tasked with spearheading a union campaign at the O.P. Textile Mill. Norma Rae begins working closely with Reuben and helps build support for the union throughout her community. She works to balance her family obligations with her deep convictions, landing her in management’s crosshairs.

    The basic contours of the plot are enough to fan the passions of any red-blooded leftist, but each of the 118 minutes of film bring such unique and unexpected joys.

    Norma Rae’s character isn’t necessarily unique — that is to say, it’s not unheard of that a story or film depicts a blue-collar single mother whose boldness often lands her in trouble. What is unique is the way that her character is allowed to exist without a shred of apology.

    At the start of the film, Norma Rae has two children. The first was fathered by her high school sweetheart who, several years earlier, was killed in a drunken bar fight. The second child was the product of a one night stand with a man, Norma explains, she “didn’t bother to marry.” When the film begins, she’s in the midst of an affair with a married man, who beats her when she attempts to break things off.

    Early in the film, Norma Rae actually does marry — to a recently-divorced and recently-fired millworker with a daughter of his own. The parties involved are clear from the get-go that it’s a marriage of convenience, but they manage to build tenderness and understanding.

    As Norma Rae becomes more deeply entrenched in the union, her sexuality is weaponized against her. One night, Norma Rae stays late at Reuben’s motel to assist with letter-writing. The motel is unexpectedly intruded upon by representatives from the TWUA headquarters, who are there to share concerns for the union campaign — including pornographic rumors about Norma Rae. Rather than be deterred, Norma Rae hurries home and wakes up her three sleeping children. Sitting them all down on the sofa, she first tells them that she loves them. Then, she tells them that they may hear rumors about her and that she wanted them to hear it from her first.

    Throughout the film, an ever-present question is whether Norma Rae and Reuben will get together. They have passionate conversations about politics and poetry, he sees her at her worst, throwing up in bushes along a country highway, and yet still looks at her with magic in his eyes. And yet, the very final scene of the film is the closest the two ever come to kissing. As they part (Reuben is road-bound for his next campaign), there is something heavy and unspoken in the air; something that the two seem to acknowledge, and to acknowledge can never come to pass.

    Norma Rae is based on the real-life story of North Carolina union organizer Crystal Lee Sutton. I have yet to read the 1975 account of her organizing work, Crystal Lee: A Woman of Inheritance, and so I am left to wonder how much of these characterizations are rooted in reality, or are crafted for the purposes of selling a Hollywood narrative. But to some extent, it doesn’t entirely matter. It does not take away from the fact that Norma Rae simultaneously tells the stories of a woman, a movement, and a community — all portrayed as equal in significance.

    Towards the end of the film, as tensions between the mill management and budding union are close to exploding, Norma Rae is fired. Management attempts to sow discord between Black and white workers by posting a racist bulletin, which Norma Rae then tries to record.

    She races through the mill, being chased by management and the local sheriff. Climbing up onto a worktable, Norma Rae grabs a piece of charcoal, a loose piece of cardboard, and scrawls the word “UNION.” She hoists the sign high, in both proclamation and plea. One by one, her co-workers shut down their machines, and the roar of the weavers gradually becomes an eerie silence. It’s the first and only time in the film that the factory is not overwhelmed by sound.

    There is so much else to be said about this film. I think entire essays could be crafted on Norma Rae’s treatment of race and religion. I think there could be lengthy analysis dedicated to why there has not been another movie like this since — at least not one that is half as sincere and half as profound. For today, my only goal in writing is to process the unexpected ache and vulnerability I felt after watching this movie.


  • Rediscovering My Personal Style: An Ongoing Quest — Pt. 1

    For several reasons, I would not recommend losing the nucleus of your self-image to the passage of time and the pressures of society. Among those reasons is the fact that, once you do lose sight of your self-image, it becomes very difficult to rediscover. Over the last few months, I have spent enough time in the humid, denim depths of the Madewell fitting room to last a lifetime.

    There is solace in the knowledge that I am not alone in this unstylish void. My research (paging through Reddit) has made clear the fact that many others have experienced similar losses in recent years. The Covid-19 pandemic shifted the way we live and move. This has changed the shapes of our bodies and our bodies’ responses to colors, fabrics, textures. As a result, my body and mind are feuding and frankly it is very tiresome.

    Fashion has always been very important to me. I have always taken great interest in studying fashion history and production. I wore a homemade, asymmetrical smock to a sixth grade dance (I was in my Rei Kawabuko era), and spent a year studying design at the Fashion Institute of Technology. This passion, until recently, translated into my own commitment to personal style. Concepts for outfits once came to me easily, whereas getting dressed now feels like crawling in the dark. The path of least resistance is one well-laid with turtlenecks and baggy jeans.

    I have been searching for inspiration as an antidote to my sartorial slump, but find it difficult to see myself in the images populating my Instagram feed. I am reluctant to blame all of my neurosis on social media. Though it’s probably accurate, it is uninteresting. But allow me a moment of your time.

    Once upon a time, I gathered inspiration for my scaring-church-ladies-outfits from the pages of Lookbook.nu and LiveJournal communities. This eventually morphed into following troves of fashion-minded influencers on platforms like Instagram and TikTok. As with everything on Today’s Modern Fucked-Up Profit-Driven Internet, extremes are favored. This has spilled over into self-expression. As I got distracted looking at my cellphone while writing this, I just watched a video of a woman putting together the following outfit: a vintage leather skirt, an electric blue Coperni top, a bedazzled Adidas mesh top, a vintage silk fascinator, Tom Ford sunglasses, a Swarovski bag, and silver John Fleuvog platform loafers (all complemented by a full face of Dior makeup). This person, without a doubt, looked very cool and interesting.

    Now, I am trying an exercise. I am trying to mentally hold this image side-by-side with a grainy digital-camera photo of a young woman with a terrible haircut, wearing a Courtney Love slip dress she likely shoplifted from Goodwill. I don’t even think I am approaching this comparison from a fist-shaking “things were better when I was a youth!” mentality when I say there is so much more raw inspiration inherent in this latter image. For one, I believe that Courtney Love Slip Dress actually went about her day dressed as she was. I would be surprised if Influencer was getting dressed for more than Instagram.

    So far, brooding on this subject hasn’t yielded spectacular results in terms of my own appearance. But continuing to brood is my intention nevertheless. I hope to continue to reflect — rather than overthink — on what it means to me to get dressed.

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  • The Protest Vote

    It’s an election year, which means that the amount of time I spend getting dragged into arguments on Reddit has tripled in the last quarter. I know, I know — it’s a complete waste of my time and energy (and I am proud to say this tendency has decreased since my early 20’s, life being too short and all of that, but still. It’s a thing, so work with me here).

    As I was saying, it’s an election year. In 238 days, the United States will relive 2020’s hellish showdown between two rich, senile ghouls. Given this, the moderate rhetoric around every urgent political issue has shifted to the “vote about it” angle. It feels borderline hysterical, the way that large swaths of our society shriek about the need to “vote!” It’s so rare that this instruction to vote is ever coupled with any encouragement of something to vote for. It’s almost as if it doesn’t matter.

    This year, things feel a bit different. In a show of protest against the United States’s involvement in the Palestinian genocide, organizers are successfully encouraging voters to select “uncommitted” on their ballots, as opposed to an actual candidate. In my home state of Massachusetts, 10% or 55,000 voters declared themselves uncommitted.

    The goal of this organizing strategy is to send a message: our votes are not guaranteed. Every four years the Democratic Party relies on youth, relies on women, relies on people of color, relies on the disenfranchised and vulnerable to prop them up without question — all the while their policies and figureheads inch further and further rightward. An uncommitted vote is meant as a wake up call that — shocking — we actually expect our candidates to engage with and to act based upon our ideas. Seventy-six percent of Democrats are asking for a ceasefire, but no Democratic candidate is willing to reflect the will of the majority. Oh right: we live in a republic. Sorry, I forget myself.

    The funny thing is, I’m actually not the cynical one. I remain unsurprised and unjaded by the actions of my corporate-sponsored overlords. It’s freeing — you should try it! The choking mass of cynicism all around us becomes apparent why you try to encourage someone to think beyond the CNN and Fox News binary. You will be informed that by doing so, by demanding more from the powerful, you are the threat. You are the one putting the entire system at risk. The neoliberal mindset would have me believe that I am the sole barrier between democratic order and authoritarianism. Me? How charming!

    Regarding the aforementioned Reddit debates, I did find myself at the center of such ungodly controversy last week when I proclaimed my pride that tens of thousands of my neighbors opted to vote for “uncommitted” in the primary. People whose post history was comprised largely of thinly-veiled racism towards brown people pleaded with me not to “throw away” my vote. “You don’t get it — it will be so much worse if we lose!” About three seconds of introspection could illuminate that complacency does more to uphold individuals like Donald Trump than I ever could.

    I will speak more on that individual as well, as it unfortunately needs to be said. A complete lack of imagination has lead us to a general discourse where any overt critiques of the Democratic Party are perceived as a “de facto” endorsement of Trump. How shameful. What I would love to know, though, is what any of these weak-minded individuals were doing the four years Trump was actually in office. I surely didn’t see them doing much more than sharing whatever Saturday Night Live segment was relevant that week. Were you at the airport after the Muslim Ban? Were you in the streets screaming out against his lawmaking against transgender people in the military? Were you working to ensure that reproductive freedoms would remain protected? No, I don’t think you were — because I was there and didn’t see any of you.

    This will be the third presidential election in which I am an eligible voter, and it turns out — per the violently desperate superpac emails in my inbox — they are all the most important election of my life! Wait…I’m getting a vision. Something tells me that no matter who wins this election, life in the United States will continue to deteriorate at a rapid pace — and 2028 will officially be the most important election of my lifetime.

    I do feel deeply sorry for the vote-crazed. You wake up every morning and you really see the world as a pale and changeless mass of rot. You think to yourself “I won’t even try for something better, I will just eke out my meager existence on this plane and be grateful that I don’t have it quite so bad.” The guys who do have it quite so bad don’t even enter the equation. What an unfortunate way to be — your only joys in life are for voting (just the simple act will do — it’s all style no substance for you anyway), and bemoaning those who yearn for more as unrealistic troublemakers.

    I am, and proud of it! I will go down kicking and screaming, asking to live in a world worth living in. I will never be satisfied; I will continue to beg for more. Please, just a scrap of a better future. Just a drop! Anything!

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  • Surrounded by Men

    Apparently, 40% of practicing lawyers are women. This statistic always surprises me given my daily experience moving through courtrooms and offices and Zoom calls where the faces and voices talking at and over me >60% male. Where’s the “almost half” contingent? I ask myself after opposing counsel thanks me for being “so sweet.”

    In therapy I talk about how I have no role models. In law school we’re given the box-checking DEI spiel about how women don’t become partners at law firms because they leave the profession in their 30’s to raise children. It’s an individual choice, not a structural issue, you see.

    I stand there in my freshly-pressed suit, hair sprayed and fake pearls laid just so, while I wait for a sweaty, disheveled potato of a man to confirm with his client whether a disabled single mother of two will be removed from her home in the next 48 hours. The decision is ultimately made because he feels like it.

    Is it better or worse for the people I serve to be coy and cordial? Can well-timed eyelashes lure a bad actor into a false sense of security that ultimately brings about the justice I seek? Is there honor in my supplication? Or is it better to play the bitch? The no-nonsense version of myself lurking within? I’ve seen the spikes incite fear — but as with many men, that fear only draws out a rash, unproductive defensiveness through which no one is served.

    Perhaps the reason that women leave the profession is self-preservation. In this work we are so often confronted by the fact that we are, as individuals, helpless to stop the grind of evictions, of incarcerations, of interpersonal violence. We create, at best, small disruptions in these systems. This logic applies to the spheres in which we move, it seems; our presence nothing but a different box checked on the demographic survey when its time to renew your bar card. How does that make a life?

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  • Free Knitting Pattern: 21st Century Austen Heroine

    INTRO

    May this bonnet be a testament to the fact that necessity breeds innovation. After I was struck with a powerful urge to knit a chapeau of this style, a search led me to the realization that no such pattern exists (for adults anyway…per usual, my desired mode of dress is reserved for humans under 2 years old). 

    Well, I thought, time to brush off my patternmaking skills and put together the hat of my dreams. After a few attempts, I developed “21st Century Austen Heroine” so named after the fact that it is both romantic and a little odd – just like my favorite characters.

    The bonnet can be worn fastened for an elegant look, or untied for an effortlessly cool vibe. While I chose a neutral shade to match my winter wear, I think this would look equally incredible in a vibrant shade. 

    However you decide to rock your bonnet, may your chilly days be filled with wit, warmth, and love! ♡

    MATERIALS

    • Size 3 circular needles
    • Size 3 straight needles
    • Approximately 275 yards of fingering weight yarn
      • I used Diamond Laine Elmer in the colorway “Cashew”
      • Shout out to “The Lamb & Kid” on Bainbridge Island, WA, where I purchased this yarn. It’s one of the most beautiful fiber shops I’ve ever been to!

    GAUGE + FINISHED DIMENSIONS

    1” wide = 5 ½ stitches

    1” tall = 8 stitches

    THE PATTERN

    BACK OF THE HEAD

    Cast on 33 stitches. 

    Row 1: Slip 1 stitch, knit 32 stitches.

    Row 2: Slip 1 stitch, purl 32 stitches.

    Repeat Rows 1 & 2 until your piece measures roughly 9” long, unstretched. 

    Cut the working yarn. 

    SHAPING THE HEAD

    You will now begin shaping the crown of the head. To do this, you will pick up and knit the sides of your piece, and continue knitting back and forth. If you have ever knit a sock, this stage is going to look very similar to picking up the heel flap. If you haven’t knit a sock, ignore me and forge on! 

    With the right side of the fabric facing you, use one of your straight needles to pick up 33 stitches alongside the left edge of your piece. 

    Then, use another straight needle to pick up 33 stitches along the right edge of your piece. 

    You should now have a total of 99 stitches across your three needles. You can continue working across three needles, or move all stitches back to the circular needle (it might be a little tight at first, so you may want to work a few rows across three needles before transferring). 

    Row 1: With the RS of the fabric facing you, knit across all 99 stitches.

    Row 2: With the WS of the fabric facing you, purl across all 99 stitches.

    Gradually, you will see the crown of the head begin to take shape. 

    Continue knitting Rows 1 & 2 until the piece measures approximately 9.5 inches tall, and – when laid flat and folded in half – 7.5 inches across at its widest point. 

    End on a RS row. 

    For a larger, deeper bonnet, you can continue knitting, but you will want to stop approximately 1 inch less than your desired length. 

    FINISHING THE HEAD

    You will now create the garter stitch edging on the front of the bonnet.

    Row 1: With WS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches.

    Row 2: With RS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches.

    Rows 3, 5, 7, 9: Repeat Row 1.

    Rows 4, 6, 8: Repeat Row 2. 

    Row 10: Cast off using your preferred method. I used the “Jenny’s Surprisingly Stretchy Bind-Off” method, but any bind-off will do. 

    Cut the working yarn.

    ADDING THE TIES

    You will now add the bottom brim of the hat and the ties in one fell swoop!

    Row 1: Using your circular needle, cast on 75 stitches.

    Then, with the RS of the hat facing you, pick up the bottom edge of the hat. The size of the hat will dictate just how many stitches you pick up. Using my gauge and dimensions, I picked up a total of 78 stitches. The most important thing here is to ensure you pick up an even number of stitches on both sides of the hat, with the back of the hat as the midpoint. 

    After you have picked up the bottom edge of the hat, cast on an additional 75 stitches.

    Your circular needle should now have a total of 228 stitches ready to knit.

    Row 2: With WS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches.

    Row 3: With RS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches. 

    Rows 4, 6, 8, 10: With WS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches.

    Rows 5, 7, 9: With RS of the fabric facing, knit all stitches. 

    Row 11: Cast off using your preferred method. I used the “Jenny’s Surprisingly Stretchy Bind-Off” method, but any bind-off will do. 

    Cut yarn and weave in all ends. 

    Go forth and be fabulous!